at work i was a cleaning up a shelf and i glanced down and looked back up and i wa slike “no way, no fucking way i just saw that”

and i looked down and i did

i saw a watermelon slice

just sitting there

in the lotion aisle

Oh shit!



A woman with twelve boobs walks down the street. Sounds funny, dozen tit?

If all of her boobs were made of mahagony, it would be funnier, wooden tit?

(via kaaysalazar)


*gets 5 notes on a post* this is it this is the big one

Then it stops there for rest of its life.

(via pricelesspringles)

How we chat here?


so my initial reaction was ‘wow my eye seems to be burning up?’ then it all goes fuckinf dark in my right eye and im
on the floor tryna get the fuckin contact out n i poked my eye with my nail so that made it worse then i took it out and now im tryna wash it all out with water but it still bURNs and my eyelid feels so heavy fuxking hell